Skewed columns from FRED, a monthly newsletter
published by the Worcester County Teachers
Association. Editor, Gwendolyn Lehman Skewed I heard someone say once that irony rules the
universe. It is a phrase that has stuck with me,
probably because it rings so true. I share this
with you so that you, too, may begin to notice the
irony that surrounds us all. It's everywhere. Take, for example, the irony that the PEOPLE
in charge of the people whose task it is to
actually educate people know so little about
people. Did you ever notice that? It's all I can
notice these days. Perhaps because it is Spring and
we just had our Spring Break ~ a break that was
just long enough to allow us to visit Starbucks and
have our coffee there instead of drinking it on our
way to work. Not that I go to Starbucks or drink
coffee, but you get my point. WILL SOMEBODY OUT
THERE PLEASE GET MY POINT??!!! I can remember when we actually did get a
10-day Spring Break, after which school still ended
relatively early in June. Ah, the good old days!
They were good, real good. At the end of those
breaks, I was refreshed and always ready to come
back to work, even eager. But now ~ . . So, recently the question for
me has become: Where did Spring Break go? Not to
Florida ~ there's not enough time. Of course, our
students still go to Florida during Spring Break ~
for Spring Break has become truncated only for us,
not for them. They also go to Nassau in the
Bahamas or Nags Head or St. Thomas, while I am
taking a long weekend to prepare for my classes,
which will resume in record time, even though many
of my students will not be there when they do
resume, for they will be ~ you guessed it ~ in
Florida! So, here is what I am proposing. Since
they're not coming back , let me go to Florida with
them. Give me 10-days to follow them wherever they
decide to go. I will read to them on the plane. I
will quiz them over a megaphone as they surf the
waves. I will place essay assignments under their
placemats at dinner. I will discuss key terms with
them from outside fitting rooms as they try on the
latest beach fashions. I will bubble in their
answers on my favorite Scan-Trons as they shout
them to me over the music in their favorite
under-21 nightspots in South Beach. I will Google
their questions and tailor-make assignments to
their idiosyncratic learning styles. I will feed
them grapes laced with learning as we lunch on
piazzas under tropical palms and they will know a
palm nut when they see one. I will do whatever it
takes to get those test scores up, up and up if you
will please just GIVE ME A BREAK! APRIL 2006
Gwendolyn Lehman